Suicidal Thoughts
by sexyinumama
Summary: What if somethings just didn't go right in your world. Would you accept it, or run away? MAture content. Writings of death,suicide,and probably rape.
1. Chapter 1

Hello to everyone in the fanfiction world! I'm half-way insane and I'm whole way proud of it! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHQAcough ...damn hairballs...

ANywhooo...the people in my mind were making poems and I was forced to write them on paper and then here, or else I'd be stuck with a bunch of anime characters jumping on my bed going 'write it down, or we'll sing Barney.' People...I'm scared shitless of Barney, and no matter how much times you killed him, he keeps coming back.

let's get started!

--------------------------

_**Suicidal Questions**_

Who would miss me

when they realize that I'm gone?

Who will care

to know that I'm not around?

Will everyone be happy

to know that I'm dead?

Would the villagers cheer

as the news is read?

Who would be left standing

to mourn at my grave?

Will Sasuke be with Sakura

knowing I'm out of the way?

Can someone be sad

as they count my death days?

Who would care anyway?

--

Iruka would be happy

to know I'm out of his way

Tsunade would drink sake

and flow joy through tears

Did Kakashi even care about me ?

Does he know I'm not here?

That I'm no longer here...

That I'm not alive...

I'm no longer standing...

Hinata don't cry.

You were the closest

to even care about me

Will you stand through

to mourn alone with me?

Will you live your life

for our dreams?

will you...

you would...

I love you.

I'll see you soon

:---------------------------------------------:

Whoa...deep... I wrote then drew this in my drawing book and some of my friends read it.I think they think that something is wrong with me... oh well, there probably is.

Review for me please and thankies!

Ja Ne

-sexyinumama

sleeps on fridge


	2. Chapter 2

hiii! Again, I came up with another poem to go into this story, so enjoy!

**EXPLAINATION**

_When you left_

_it stopped_

_his time_

_only had_

_one thing _

_in mind_

_to bring you _

_back_

_he said_

_to me_

_he'll do that_

_just _

_I see_

_went with just his_

_heart and fists_

_plan fell apart_

_j u s t_

_li ke _

_t-_

_h-_

_i-_

_s _

_-try again-_

_won this _

_time_

_but not without_

_his own self _

_crime_

_he killed his heart_

_only fists _

_were there_

_he killed_

_his heart_

_so that you'd_

_be here_

_Sasuke, you fool_

_how could you do that _

_to your friend_

* * *

Yeah, kind of kidish in the rhyme, but I like the meaning behind the words. If someone can't figure it out, it's Sakura telling Sasuke what Naruto went through to get him back... sorta depressing in the fact that Naruto had to lose his heart in order to defeat Sasuke.

Anyway tell me what you all think...

I'll wait


	3. Chapter 3

hehehe, I don't know why I'm laughing since what I'm going to write isn't really laughable...oh well, thanks to the two people that have reviewed my story. Anyway this one is almost a short story.

* * *

_Why_

_Why did you hide this from me_

_let it stay hidden from my eyes_

_you made it turn from love_

_into obssesion_

**"Beautiful"**

_Don't tell me that_

_don't say anymore lies!_

**"Beautiful"**

_You hid it well_

_your eyes kept the secret_

_of your sick fantasy_

_that you force on me_

**"Stop moving..."**

_no_

**"stop...movin'.."**

_No..._

**"I said.."**

_NO!_

_Stop it!_

_you've lied to everyone in the village_

_you've tricked your family and friends_

_They think I'm gone_

_no more_

_to them, I'm DEAD!_

**SLAP**

**HIT**

**PUNCH**

**BEAT**

**kiss...**

**"now be quiet"**

**"and stay still"**

_Why_

_Why do you caress me with such force_

_you touch me as if I'm some broken china-_

**"mine"**

_leave my hair alone_

_you had already taken out the ties_

_stop stroking my hair_

_and stay away from my clothes_

_whats left of them_

**"you are MINE"**

_what you do to me now_

_I wished you did_

_when I loved you_

**"always...mine"**

_Yours?_

_I can be nobody else's_

_since you keep me here_

_locked up and hidden_

_in a room_

_no one could even try to have me_

**kiss**

_You do something so innocent_

_and sweet_

_even as you force yourself inside of me_

_against my will_

_you have no idea how much I want to hit you_

_but the chains keep me from doing so_

**SLAP**

**PUNCH**

_Do you find pleasure in doing this to me?_

_are you satisfied with your dominance_

**"my destiny"**

**"is with you koi"**

_yes _

_I am your koi aren't I_

_I was married to you _

_and had supposedly died_

_two years ago_

_and yet here I am_

_your wife_

_being raped and beaten_

_forced to live in darkness and pain_

**"and yours is to ONLY be with ME"**

_and yet the only light besides the moon_

_that I will ever see_

_is your pale eyes, Neji _

_and the irony of it all_

_is that I look forward to seeing them_

_but not you_

**"your always mine koi"**

**"Forever"**

_...forever..._

* * *

Yay, I'm a year older now! My birthday was on th 15th! ok, back to the story

I would like comments on this

waiting patiently

-sexyinumama


	4. Chapter 4

hello, once again! I strangely feel..fuzzy,happy, and warm. must be the heat. anoda one is on the way!

* * *

A note of thoughts

Naruto, will you notice me so?

_Neji, did you see what I've done?_

**Sasuke, I just can't let you go..**

Naruto, look at my blood run..

_Neji, I've loved your eyes.._

**Sasuke, yours dark as night**

Naruto, his brightens the skies

_Neji, with shaded light_

**Sasuke, you silently scream..**

Naruto, I'm spread on the floor..

_Neji, I'm living your dream.._

**Sasuke, without you, I'm torn..**

Naruto, I've always loved you..

_Neji, you're always in my heart.._

**Sasuke, whom with, I flew..**

**_For now we must depart_**

**_-.-.-.-_**

* * *

that's so nice! Extra cookies and an imaginary flat screen, high deffinition, special edition blue ray copy disc writer television, to everyone who reviews !! 

ja ne!

-sexyinumama


	5. Chapter 5

I'm finally fixing the contents that use to make up chapter four. I had to seperate them...now I'm sad. Oh well, hope you enjoy and are finally capable of understanding the mess.

hehe..

* * *

**HOPE SO**

can you explain

why I do THIS

do you know

how I feel

to have it

worse than fists

everyone knows

about 'my deals'

I hear the words

'Uchiha whore'

it cuts likes swords

'so he finally scored'

i am NOTHING…nothing

but a toy..

is this the shit

that you seem to enjoy?

you are a murderer,

but still

you said if I didn't do it

..i'd be killed...

No longer am I alive

because of **my life**

that

you'd deprived

oh yeah,

i

killed

your

child

does it hurt?

.._cha_..

-Sakura

* * *

Hold on, there's still more. Part 1 out of 3.

Ja ne

-sexyinumama


	6. Chapter 6

Also part of what used to be chapter four. hope u likey!

* * *

**I'm Alone**

If you were to see me

You wouldn't recognize

The emptiness

that is in my eyes

From how I remembered

Pain

Of the happiness and cheer

But no longer...

no more

are any of them, there

I am rouge

That's right

You're shocked, but don't be!

Cause I'm the last shinobi anyway

You see

My friends disappeared:

My teammates; the others

And **I** was left with

All the bothers

The villagers and ninjas

All tried me for the kill

But **they** are the ones

Who turned silently still.

Now if you tried to look

For the village that caused me

torture and pain

I'll tell you now

You'll find it a plain

I

alone will be the final ninja

That ever graduated from

The village of Konoha

_Believe it_

-Naruto

* * *

ja ne

-sexyinumama


	7. Chapter 7

Final part of the trio chapters! (drumroll please)

* * *

**So What**

they were weak

that's why

at the top of their peak

they were left

dead; dry

It never bothered me

i didn't care

i got what I desired

even if she didn't want to be part of

the plans I conspired

I left the damn village

with my bride

who i enjoyed and forced

to let me ride

I broke her.

I choked her.

Abuse.

Misuse.

chains and shackles

rape

and hassle

to her I dared

to kill what she bared

she took it as a way out

a clue; a pitch

so quickly

that bitch

poisoned herself and

my heir

out of 'revenge'

and I bet she'd thought

I would care

_hn._

-Sasuke

* * *

There, everything I had planned is done so far. If anyone would like a pairing or situation to be written next, review for me! until then, this story stays as 'complete'.

also, did anyone notice that the last three chapter's titles could have continued the statement of answerthe qusetion on the last line before each character's phrase? It could have also answered other things in each title's poems. You can go back and check.

ja ne

-sexyinumama


	8. Chapter 8

I'm shocked, someone actually found this story...and reviewed...and wanted me to write another one...huh.

alright, this is a GaaraxHinata request from Siyo. Siyo, the voices in my head are happy that they're back to work

* * *

:-:

_**tHe PeRfEcT cOuPlE**_

She was nice,

_too nice_

trusted him,

_too far_

aproached him,

_too fast_

loved him,

too early_, too late_

to last

-:-:-

he was dark,

_so dark_

hated her,

_so much_

resented her,

_so easy_

lusted her,

so cruel, _so bad_,

so she'll be:

_dead,_

though warm

_steel,_

though breathing

_needed,_

though forgotten

_alive,_

though killing with

_no plans_

for stopping

_-my, what a perfect couple.-_

_:-:_

* * *

well, there you go Siyo. hope you liked it. Hope anyone who read it liked it...if not...well then we'd all know what kind of skills I have..

anywhoo...

REview and tell me what yall think...

Ja NE

-S.Y.I.U.M.A


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